When the Goalpost Keeps Moving: Perfectionism, OCD, and the Search for Peace

If you’ve ever found yourself crossing one goal off your list only to immediately replace it with another, you’re not alone.

You finally accomplish something — clean the house, finish a project, meet that personal milestone — but instead of celebrating, you think, “I could have done more.”

This pattern of shifting your standards the moment you reach them is common among high-achieving women and individuals who struggle with perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. It’s an invisible cycle of “never enough” thinking — and it can quietly drain your energy, joy, and self-worth.

In today’s post, we’ll explore why perfectionism and OCD often go hand in hand, how moving the goalpost keeps you trapped in anxiety, and practical ways to begin embracing enough.

The Perfectionism Cycle: Why You Never Feel Done

For many people with perfectionistic or OCD patterns, the moment of completion doesn’t feel peaceful — it feels anxious.

You might look at something you’ve achieved and immediately find flaws, revisions, or “next steps.”

That momentary relief of finishing something is quickly replaced by self-critique:

• “I should have done a deep clean.”

• “Tomorrow I’ll organize that drawer.”

• “Maybe I should redo it completely.”

What was a success five minutes ago suddenly doesn’t count anymore. The goalpost moves, and the bar for “good enough” rises again.

This isn’t about laziness or lack of gratitude — it’s about how OCD and perfectionism trick the brain into linking self-worth to flawless performance. Instead of seeing completion as success, the brain interprets it as potential failure waiting to happen.

Over time, this constant shifting leads to mental exhaustion, burnout, and the deep belief that you are never enough.

Why OCD and Perfectionism Feel So Linked

While perfectionism isn’t an official OCD subtype, they often overlap in powerful ways.

Both are rooted in fear, control, and uncertainty.

• OCD drives the mind to neutralize discomfort through repetition or checking.

• Perfectionism drives the mind to neutralize discomfort through constant improvement.

Both send the same message: “If I can just get it right, I’ll feel safe.”

But here’s what actually happens when the goalpost keeps moving:

1. You never get to celebrate wins.

   Every accomplishment becomes proof of what could have been better.

2. You exhaust yourself with endless revisions.

   You spend more time perfecting than creating — and more time analyzing than enjoying.

3. You teach your brain that nothing is ever enough.

   The mind learns that completion isn’t safety; perfection is. And since perfection is impossible, you’re stuck chasing something you’ll never reach.

4. You rob yourself of momentum.

   Instead of building on small wins, you get stuck trying to perfect each step.

5. You model impossible standards.

   The people around you — family, friends, colleagues — begin to feel that “good enough” isn’t acceptable in your world, either.

How to Know When You’re Moving the Goalpost

Awareness is the first step toward breaking this perfectionism cycle.

You may be moving the goalpost if:

• You use a lot of “shoulds” when talking to yourself.

• You’ve accomplished a lot but still feel behind.

• You struggle to celebrate wins because your mind immediately jumps to what could be improved.

If these sound familiar, you’re not failing — your brain has simply learned to equate self-worth with productivity or flawlessness. The good news? You can teach it a new pattern.

Reframing “Enough”: The Antidote to Perfectionism

One of the most powerful concepts in overcoming perfectionism and OCD is learning to define “enough.”

When you start a task, daily plan, or goal without a clear “enough point,” your brain never knows when to stop. There’s always more to fix, clean, improve, or optimize.

But when you define what “done” looks like before you begin, you create a healthy boundary — a finish line your mind can recognize and respect.

Here’s how to start practicing the Enough Framework:

1. Set your “enough point” from the start.

   Before beginning, ask yourself: “What does done look like?” Write it down.

2. When you reach it, stop.

   This will feel uncomfortable at first — that’s okay. You’re teaching your brain that completion, not perfection, is the goal.

3. Celebrate that you did enough.

   Pause to notice the satisfaction of finishing. Even saying out loud, “I did enough for today,” helps anchor that new belief.

4. Move on — intentionally.

   Use the time and energy you would have spent over-perfecting to rest, connect, or pursue something meaningful.

Every time you complete something and consciously choose to stop, you’re rewiring your brain’s perfectionism loop. Over time, this creates more balance, confidence, and trust in yourself.

The Role of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Perfectionism and OCD thrive on criticism and control — both internal and external. Mindfulness and self-compassion help interrupt that cycle by encouraging awareness without judgment.

Try this simple practice:

• When a thought like “I should do more” appears, label it gently:

  “That’s my perfectionism voice talking.”

• Take one deep, slow breath.

• Ask yourself: “What would be enough right now?”

This small pause creates distance between you and the perfectionistic narrative. It’s not about lowering your standards — it’s about letting go of impossible ones.

Remember: time is a resource you can’t get back. As one quote beautifully puts it, “You cannot buy back the memories you never made.”

When you zoom out and look at your life, it’s rarely the spotless kitchen or perfectly written report that matters most — it’s the laughter, the connection, the presence you create when you allow yourself to stop striving for more.

Why “Good Enough” Is Not Settling — It’s Healing

The pursuit of perfection can quietly become a barrier to joy.

Many high-achieving people fear that if they stop striving, they’ll lose motivation or quality. But accepting “enough” doesn’t mean giving up — it means choosing to live more fully.

It’s not about lowering the bar; it’s about moving it to a human level.

You’re not settling for less — you’re creating space for life.

When you start to view “enough” as a success rather than a shortcoming, you reclaim your energy, time, and sense of peace.

Taking the Next Step Toward Freedom from Perfectionism and OCD

If you’re feeling exhausted from chasing an ever-moving goalpost — and ready to find peace — therapy can help you identify your enough points and celebrate your progress instead of doubting it.

In therapy, we work to:

• Uncover the thought patterns driving your perfectionism

• Learn mindfulness-based tools for grounding and self-compassion

• Build confidence in completion and imperfection alike

You can visit my website at valuedriventherapy.com to schedule a consult. Even if there’s a waitlist, you can still book an initial session to see if we’re a good fit. Together, we’ll help you step out of the perfectionism trap — and back into your life.

Because you’re not meant to live in endless revision.

You’re meant to create, rest, and enjoy what already is.

Final Thoughts

You are not defined by unfinished tasks or imperfect results. You are not the constant critic in your head.

You are a whole, capable person learning to see your life — and yourself — as enough.

Be kind to yourself. You’re not settling for less. You are simply honoring your peace.

• Podcast Transcript

  Wow. Welcome to episode 100. I can’t appreciate you guys enough — thank you so much for being here. Today, we’re going to talk about a topic that’s near and dear to my heart because it’s something I’ve struggled with myself. And I think we could all use a reminder that you are enough.

  Here’s what’s happening with so many high-achieving women: you finally accomplish something you’ve been working toward, and instead of celebrating, you tell yourself it wasn’t good enough. Because of that, you keep moving that goalpost.

  If that sounds familiar, hang around — you’re going to hear tips on how to overcome this perfectionism cycle.

  To continually move that goalpost is like an addiction. You finally get your house clean, and then what happens? Instead of celebrating that you finally have a clean house, you think, “I should have really done a deep clean,” or, “Tomorrow I’ll organize that drawer or that cabinet,” or, “I’ll get all the laundry done.”

  So what was a win five minutes ago isn’t even the same conversation anymore. Suddenly, you’ve got more on your to-do list — and it has to be perfect. That’s because your goalpost has moved again.

  Here’s what happens when you continually move the goalpost:

  1. You never get to celebrate wins. Every accomplishment immediately becomes evidence of what you could have done better.

  2. You exhaust yourself with endless revisions. You spend more time perfecting than creating, and more time analyzing than enjoying.

  3. You teach your brain that nothing is ever enough. Your brain learns that completion isn’t the goal — perfection is. And perfection, as you know, is impossible.

  4. You rob yourself of momentum. Instead of building on successes, you get stuck trying to perfect each step.

  5. You model impossible standards. Your family, friends, and colleagues feel that energy — that “good enough” isn’t acceptable in your world.

  So how can you recognize when you’re moving the goalpost?

  • You’re using a lot of “shoulds.”

  • You’re accomplishing a lot, but still feel behind.

  • You can’t celebrate wins because you immediately see what could be improved.

  Here’s how to break that goalpost-moving cycle.

  One of the first things I did was recognize that if I had unlimited time, resources, and energy — sure, I could keep going. But who really needs that? It’s not necessary.

  With perfectionism, the word enough kept coming up for me. Not even good enough — just enough. Because time is also a resource you can’t get back.

  There was a quote I saw on Instagram the other day that really hit me: “You cannot buy back the memories you never made.” That’s powerful, right?

  When you zoom out and really think about how you’re spending your time, ask yourself — are you spending it in places that truly matter? Sure, your kids might notice if the house is clean, but do they really notice the deep clean? Or that you did 20 things on your checklist today? Probably not.

  I encourage you to try the enough practice.

  Break it down into a few steps:

  1. Set your enough point from the start. Before you even begin, know what “done” looks like.

  2. When you reach that point, stop yourself.

  3. Celebrate that you did enough.

  4. Move on to the next thing.

  And with that next thing, I hope it’s something that lights up your world, brings you value, or invests in the people and things you love.

  If you’re exhausted from chasing that ever-moving goalpost and ready to find peace — to truly celebrate things being enough — I encourage you to book a consult with me. You can go to my website at valuedriventherapy.com.

  And if I have a waitlist, know that you can still get a consult to see if we’re a good fit. Together, we can work on identifying your enough points, celebrating your accomplishments, and building momentum instead of getting stuck in endless revision and redoing.

  Remember — you’re not settling for less. You’re choosing to live more.

  Thank you again for being here and for listening to 100 episodes of the Bossing Up: Overcoming OCD podcast. See you next week.

  Until then, be kind to yourself — and stay blessed by the best.