Can grief make you...
This episode is a conversation between Erin, an OCD specialist and psychologist, Dr. Heather Taylor about the complexities of grief and OCD treatment. The conversation introduces Dr. Taylor's expertise in grief, emphasizing the non-linear, complex nature of the grieving process.
We talk about the misconceptions about grief, including its supposed linear progression and time limits, are discussed, alongside the importance of understanding individual grief experiences and providing appropriate support.
We touch on the therapeutic fit, support groups, and the challenges in diagnosing and treating grief within the existing medical system. This episode also covers how grief manifests differently across life stages in addition to the significance of self-care and support networks in navigating grief. Lastly, it addresses the broader impacts of grief on one's sense of purpose and identity, emphasizing the ongoing efforts to change the conversation around grief and promote understanding.
00:00 Raising Awareness: Understanding OCD Beyond Stereotypes
00:38 Introducing Dr. Heather Taylor: A Conversation on OCD and Grief
01:19 Meet Erin: A Specialist's Journey and Mission
02:40 Deep Dive into Grief: Misconceptions and Realities
07:19 Navigating Grief: Strategies and Support Systems
13:06 Grief Across Life Stages: Insights and Support for All Ages
16:39 A Pause for Reflection: Sponsor Message and Recap
17:12 Discovering Hope with NOCD Therapy
17:46 Navigating Grief: Understanding and Support
19:03 The Power of Presence in Grieving
20:04 Grief Beyond Death: Addressing Non-Death Losses
21:55 Finding Meaning After Loss
24:06 Transforming Grief into Action
27:14 Self-Care Strategies for Grieving Individuals
29:05 Understanding 'Otherness' in Grief
31:10 Closing Thoughts and Resources on Grief
Bonuses for today:
Watch this interview on Youtube @Erin Davis Counseling Services.
Book mentioned in today's show: How to Keep The House While Drowning.
You can find Heather's handout here.
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I like having these warmup times and even when I'm prepping for my individual podcast episodes, I'm normally like, I mean, obviously as a solo podcaster, you're talking to yourself anyway, but I'm like really talking to myself.
Yeah, that's awesome. Right. Yeah.
Well, and, uh, Solo episodes that you've done so far have been phenomenal. I love listening to them Yes, I love the metaphors about grief and then just talking about your person I mean really just getting to the heart of Grief is about and I feel like you through your podcast and all the things you're doing You're really changing the conversation around grief,
right?
Right. Oh
I know
right. I know and it seems like Even with my podcast, I keep asking my audience, like, send me questions, send me emails, leave reviews, tell me what's up. Cause this is like a one way conversation. I don't know how you're feeling about what I'm putting out there. Yeah. So, um, okay. So for our conversations today, do you, how about, um, Well, you tell me.
Same. So which, which direction you want to go, because what I'll do is change the recording and make it two separate recordings that, don't you think?
We can do that.
Switch.
Okay. Okay. That works. So we'll,
for real. Okay. Well, let me,
um, I mean, I like the idea of promoting your podcast. Okay. Yeah, and because with my no CD contract, I cannot promote other therapy services. So, um, and my podcast has the message about getting the right kind of treatment for OCD. So I think if you want to work along those lines and you know, so I think that's kind of the theme I'm thinking of is like when it comes to grief like Get the right resources, get the right treatment, get the right kind of help.
And in listening, yeah, in listening to your podcast, I really loved hearing your story about how you had a grief experience and then you couldn't get the right kind of help and. That seems to happen even so often with OCD. So I would love to hear more about your story.
Okay. Okay. Well, yep. I'm sliding my questions over if if it'll cooperate Okay, don't do all this stuff. My goodness, okay Well, I am ready if you are Okay All right. Um So today I'm going to be talking with Dr. Heather Taylor, who is a psychologist out in the state of Washington. And I want to formally welcome her to the show, bossing up overcoming OCD and Heather, I want to thank you.
Or do you want me to call you Heather or Dr. Taylor? What's your preference?
Heather and I have known each other for quite a while, and we've been co working together virtually on all things podcasting and building a private practice that's based on values. And so Heather, thank you so much for talking with me today. And I'm so excited for my audience to hear more about you and your podcast on podcasting.
So if you would take a second and tell us about your podcast and where we can find it.
Oh, thank you, Heather. Yeah. So in listening to your podcast, it sounds like you're really trying to change the conversation around. Grief, and I'm curious with your work and with your therapy practice and even, you know, teaching college students, what have been some of those like common misconceptions that people have about grief that you've came across?
Right.
No, I mean, I've got plenty of questions for you, but yeah, it's,
mm hmm.
Good point.
Mm hmm. Mm
hmm.
Right.
Right, right. Yeah. And so in these misconceptions about grief, it's like people want to put it in a box as if, like, they can just close the lid, forget about it, and then it's also going to be the straight line of emotions and one thing after the other. And really, it's like grief can sounds like from what you're saying and also just In our real world experience as therapists.
I mean, grief can show up at any point at any time and with any type of emotion. And it can feel like a lot of waves, a lot of ebbs and flows, highs and lows. Yeah.
Yeah. We'll see you Monday. Uh huh. Yeah.
And with folks who are experiencing a loss and they're going through some Grief, how do you recommend to them that they work through that or cope with the situation? Like I know everyone experiences grief differently, but like, what are some of those like more effective or possibly like standard of care type of recommendations that you give for the bereaved?
Mm hmm. Mm
hmm.
Mm hmm.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah.
So true.
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm. Mm
hmm.
Interesting.
Right.
Right. Okay. So then, in this instance, when someone is dealing with grief, or maybe even a more complicated grief, it's going to depend on who they lost, the relationship they had with that person, and if they're deal, having a lot of struggles, they need to find a therapist who's the right fit for them. Yes.
110 percent agree.
Mm hmm. Yeah. Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, and you know, the other thing that is changing the way for grief, and it may seem very minimal to just everyone in general, but having grief as a diagnosis in our attention Diagnostic book, so with that being said, like with OCD, I mean, you won't believe it, like they're just, insurance is just now coming around to find it as a quote unquote reimbursable diagnosis, even though I know, right, even though OCD is so debilitating and limiting, it's just now being recognized by insurance as like a medical illness that needs treatment.
Yes! So, anyway, I'm curious, Heather, is the complicated grief diagnosis, is it reimbursable by insurance, or have you noticed, what's been your experience with that?
Oh! Whoa.
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
Right?
Wow. Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes. And so another thing along the lines of, it depends, I'm curious to hear how grief can show up in those different life stages, like for kids, teens, and adults. Like I foresee that it can be very different. So what have you noticed about how grief manifests in all those different life stages?
Mm hmm.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Wow, yeah
And they're all
mm hmm true
Mm hmm.
Yeah,
right Yes, I could see where a teen grief group would be helpful because they're all going through the same thing whereas probably your normal or your day to day friends, they may still be along those same lines of, like, they're afraid to talk about it or don't know what to say. So before, um, before we get into the next set of topics and questions, I want to take a second to give a, uh, break for the sponsorship.
And let me re say that. Okay. So before we get into the next set of questions, let's take a break and hear a word from our sponsor. Okay. All right, so we were talking about the teen grief group and how that's very helpful for kids who are going through loss and how your day to day friends may be avoidant or not know what to say.
And so my next question was going to be like, how do you support your friend?
Hmm.
Valid.
Magic castle. So true. I mean, how many times have you shown up to someone's house and it's like, I've never seen so many casseroles in my life. Yeah. Yes.
Yeah.
Yes. There's no fairy dust in there. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah. Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Right. Yeah, such a good point. And it reminds me of some of the ladies I've worked with they've experienced grief in the sense of a hysterectomy and so the loss of not having children and the grief that that brought and how society is not comfortable in talking about, you know, the loss of what never came, you know, and these ladies Talk about how it was so isolating and it felt invalidating that no one ever named their loss or said anything directly about like, um, sorry for your experience or what your family's going through.
Like, so that severed some friendships for them. So, you know, grief like really extends into so many areas of life. And to me, From what I've seen it and it sounds like you have the same mindset as well. It's like, it's better to say something and just be direct and straightforward. And honestly, it's like, just go in there with good intentions and a good heart.
Yes. Yes.
Oh, I love that. It's okay to be messy.
Oh yeah. Right.
Right. Yeah. And I'm curious too, about your advice or suggestions or feedback for people who might be like. Really struggling after a loss as far as finding their meaning and purpose in life, because it seems like it's a very common human experience whenever we lose someone who's very close to us. And they're like, what's the point?
Like they're in that very deep, depressive state and they're hopeless. So what is your work like with people who are in that space? Mm
hmm.
Mm. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Mm hmm.
Wow. Three. Oh, right. Fantastic. Oh.
Oh.
I bet the air felt thick, you know, because you can tell when there's something not being said.
So true.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah. Yes. There's, it's coming, you know, I feel the momentum and the, the waves of positivity coming where we're going to be talking about this more. And so it sounds like Heather, with your experience, you use your loss as a way and a meaning, you found meaning and purpose by trying to help others. So it's not that everyone needs to be a grief therapist or a grief specialist,
right? Yes. Yes. Mm hmm. Mindfulness.
Wow. So many parallels with OCD too. Yeah. Wow.
Right.
And those safe people that will celebrate those wins with you. Yeah. And so when someone is experiencing those challenges and getting those day to day or daily responsibilities accomplished, it sounds like having people in your To help encourage you, maybe keep you accountable in a loving way. Right. Yes.
Yes. And in a way that is going to help you feel like you accomplished something and they're going to say, I'm proud of you for like, just going out. Yeah. Don't worry about your hair or your makeup. Just go out girl. Like, yeah. Yeah. So, um, how about the self care? Like what are some things that the individual person can do?
Let's say it's an adult, right? They're a little bit more aware and recognize the need for self care. What are some, cause I'm getting ready to do an episode, or maybe at this point, I've already published the episode on self care with Mother's Day coming up and everything. Um, what are your ideas about self care for people who are grieving?
Okay,
that's cool Yeah, yeah Yeah,
and for a second here, can you explain what it means when someone feels othered? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, it's almost like you're in a totally different headspace a different universe
Wow.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, Heather, thank you so much for taking the time to speak today. It was really, really informative and encouraging to hear about how we can help change that conversation about grief. And so if the audience wants to hear more about grief and all the things that About grief. They would go to your podcast on Apple or Spotify and it's called grief is the new normal.
Thank you
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