The Science Behind Fear
Feeling like a jittery phone or a brain-dead zombie? Let's chat about the different zones of your nervous system and how to get back to that sweet 'green zone' of tolerance. I'll share a funny yet panic-inducing story about my son scaring me to illustrate the fight or flight response. We’ll also tackle navigating Halloween with OCD on overdrive – understanding your body's reactions and getting back to calm can make a world of difference. You'll learn simple yet effective techniques like deep breathing, belly balloons, and how to challenge those pesky thoughts about being a bad mom. Ready to feel human again and reconnect with joy? Check out my intensive program starting in November at ValueDrivenTherapy.com. Get back to feeling safe just in time for the holidays. Tune in next week for more on surviving Halloween with mental health challenges!
01:43 Personal Story: A Frightening Experience
02:59 Understanding the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response
10:44 Understanding Emotional Numbness
11:09 The Importance of the Nervous System
15:56 The Power of Deep Breathing
18:33 Taking Control of Your Mental Health
19:28 Conclusion and Upcoming Topics
#science behind fear #frightandflight #nervoussystem #mentalhealth #OCD
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[00:00:00]
Why is the nervous system important and which nervous system is fight or flight? I get it. The whole nervous system conversation can be totally confusing. So if you're interested in learning what the different stages and zones are for your nervous system, hang around for the full episode to learn.
[00:01:00] What the zones are, and how you can get back to that window of tolerance, back to that place where you feel like you are you again. Fear is such a strong emotion, and it totally has its history with all of us. And I bet any of you, if I asked you, tell me about a time when you felt afraid. We could probably come up with 20 million different stories, but I'll tell you about a story that happened to me. We were coming home late one night, probably from a ballgame, and we're unpacking the van. We're trying to get into the house, walking inside. It's dark.
[00:02:00] So I, You know, really can't see much of anything. And my oldest son jumps out from the porch and is like, wow! And oh my goodness, it had me so scared that I didn't even scream. And that, well, first of all, I mean, I was surprised, but then even my reaction surprised me because I felt this wave go over me where I just, Felt like I wasn't even there. I couldn't defend myself.
Now, I mean, thank goodness that that was the response instead of, I don't know, any other consequences that could have happened. But I could just feel my body shutting down and I was like, wow. And as we're coming up to this Halloween season you may Be one of those people where you're like, I'm already overwhelmed with my OCD. I don't want to deal with any more nonsense. So I'm just going to avoid all this trick or treating stuff. So next week I'm going to have an episode just for you. We're going to talk about how to navigate the Halloween traditions when you have mental health struggles, particularly with OCD.
[00:03:00] But the science behind fear, if we look at it from a nervous system perspective, can make a lot of sense. And whenever you are more aware of your nervous system and the different zones, you can better help yourself get back to the green, get back to the good, get back to the window of tolerance. Now, many of you have heard about the fight, flight, or freeze response. It's very common. It's our natural instinct to survive. And for our Brain and body to take care of us in the moment. And a lot of times when people find themselves in that fight, flight, or freeze mode, they put a lot of judgment around that. And they feel like, Oh, I shouldn't be angry. I shouldn't be so upset.
Why didn't I fight off that perpetrator?
And if you haven't heard of the fight or flight response, a little backstory to that. Think about it. Back in the day when we were hunters and gatherers. And we really had to take care of ourselves. We really had to do things in order to survive.
[00:04:00] So with the fight or flight, it's our body's natural way to help take care of us. Let's say you are picking berries. You're doing your thing, collecting your food for your family. When you hear rustling in the bushes, you're gonna notice a whoosh of brain chemicals. You may not have realized it before, but the next time you get scared, I encourage you to pay attention to how your body responds. So you're in this situation where you hear rustling in the bushes and you're like, oh no. Like, I'm either going to fight this thing, or I'm gonna run away really, really fast. And those chemicals that are dumped into your body are the adrenaline and the cortisol. Because that's what's going to help you survive.
And physiologically, we cannot stay in that super high state of anxiety. Basically, if you're a panic attack sufferer, you know what I'm talking about in that while you're afraid of panic attacks happening, you know that they don't last forever.
[00:05:00] You know they don't last because they typically peak around the 10 to 15 minute mark and then they start to die off after that because your body's not going to continue to pump the adrenaline and cortisol. Now, my theory is, your body's probably like, either you handled the thing or you didn't, so. There you go, all right, now the information I'm giving you today, I'm going to have a handout on my blog page that I would love for you all to grab a copy of, because on this handout, it's going to give you the signs of the different zones that you're in for your nervous system.
So when we're talking about the fight or flight, you may be wondering which stage of your nervous system does this fall into? It falls into the hyper arousal zone. I like to think about it at the top. Okay. Because that's when we're super amped.. we're very reactive. We're very defensive. Possibly this is where you're getting that intrusive imagery. Like you're getting images of seeing your boyfriend cheating on you.
[00:06:00] You're getting those obsessive thoughts that keep going in cycles and repeating and they're getting you worked up and the racing thoughts and even so much so that you could feel the tension in your body. And you're shaking. You could be on edge where it feels like you're really at that place where it's only going to take a straw to break the camel's back. You know what I'm saying? Like we've all been there where we're like so worked up.
All right. So coming down from the top, right in the middle ground, if you will, our window of tolerance. I kind of think of it like the green zone and the handout that you'll see on my blog page at valuedriventherapy.com. It's got the colors too for the different zones. So that's very nice. This window of tolerance zone is also known as the ventral vagal. And while those words may seem like a lot, if you're into the Polly Bagel theory, you'll know what I'm talking about. But if not, it's okay. We're all humans here, and we all have a nervous system.
[00:07:00] No human exists without a nervous system. And so, in examining your own life, whenever you are feeling your best, you're very social, you feel like you can connect with others, you can see where they're coming from, you can really understand their point of view, or, you know, or sense how they're feeling because you, can tap into that empathy. This is. The window of tolerance, and this is why possibly sometimes that you don't react the same way every time because it really depends on where you are in your nervous system. You know, let's say you're working that corporate job. Most of the time, you're a pretty chill person and you can approach your coworkers or chat with your coworkers with reasonable conversation like, Hey, how are you doing? The small talk. How was your weekend? Well, you know, if you have just had to deal with your kid dropping their shoes on their way into daycare or your kid left their homework at home, but you're already en route to school, you've got all that frustration going on.
[00:08:00] That likely puts your nervous system into that hyper arousal, that fight or flight. And so whenever you walk into work, you're still agitated. You're not in that window of tolerance anymore. And so your co-workers are getting on your nerves everywhere you turn. And like, logically, or maybe not, honestly, I run into so many people who are very unaware of. They're emotions, and I used to honestly think about it in a way of emotional intelligence, but now I'm shifting to this nervous system theory. So if you are in that window of tolerance, that green zone, the ventral vagal, you feel open, you feel curious, and this is where we can learn. It's hard to learn when you're running for your life or you're having to fight off a lot of stressors. And your emotions and your reactions whenever you're in this window of tolerance match the situation.
[00:09:00] How many times have you snapped or have you shut down because there's so much going on and the people around you are like, What the heck? Like, we're just asking what you want for dinner. Why are you snapping our heads off? That's because your nervous system is reacting to these perceived threats.
[00:10:00] So let's Talk about the next level of the nervous system because in total there are three so now we're down to our third one here And that is the hypo Arousal zone, so that's the bottom zone if you will And that's when threats and stress and all the things are so overwhelming that you're shutting down. And that's what I went into whenever my son jumped out from the porch late at night to scare me. They think it's hilarious to scare mom. I don't think it's so funny.
You are essentially immobilized. You feel numb. There's no feelings. You are disconnected. You may even mistake this for depression, but you feel dead on the inside.
[00:11:00] You feel shut down. you don't have the energy to make any decisions. Have you ever been there? You know, just that feeling where you're numb. Like, even if you were to pop your hand on your face, you don't feel it because you're just disassociating. And the reason we need to understand why our nervous system is important is because we need to know where we are in these zones so that we can get back to the green zone of that window of tolerance. All of us have faced hard times and we all have a nervous system. And being the humans that we are, we use stories. We're very connected to stories. So, in bringing it all together here, we have the vagus nerve that runs through our body. It's one of the longest nerves in the body, and it connects to a lot of major organs.
And in the past, I used to teach basically just one technique. to help you tap into your nervous system and your vagus nerve. But now, man, it's really so much more.
[00:12:00] So with the vagus nerve, it starts at the brainstem, runs down your spine, and throughout the body, one of the longest nerves we have. And what you can create in therapy with me are those different strategies and techniques to help you when you are in each of these. zones. So let me talk about a few examples here just to give you an idea of what that looks like. So when you're in the hyper arousal zone, okay, that's the top one. Let's think about that as red. You're in that fight or flight. You've got a lot going on. Some of you may have tried Some of those Grounding techniques like deep breathing or coloring, but you're buzzing, right? Like there's so much happening inside that it almost feels like you're vibrating. Like there's a hum or this sizzle in there and you're like ain't no way I'm gonna sit down and color Ain't no way I'm gonna sit down and journal. Heck to the no if I'm gonna do some deep breathing Because you're just so Okay. I've got some ideas for you.
[00:13:00] How about you try to do some activities that match that energy, that humming that's inside, almost like something that helps you with that vibration that's going on. Okay. So maybe it's playing some music with some deep bass tones. Maybe you need to get a massage gun because the massage gun could really help work out not only the muscle tension But that emotional energy that you got going on Physical exercise could be a great way when you're dealing with emotional overwhelm and again Take or leave any of these ideas Ultimately you want to do what works for you and works with your body and your nervous system So let's say You have an important work meeting coming up and this work meeting really gets your nervous system buzzing. Maybe you want to go for a run that morning if running's not your thing, a walk, or some type of physical exercise just to get that release.
[00:14:00]But ultimately, movement is a great way to help work through stress. anxious energy. All right. If you are in that low hypo arousal zone where you're feeling numb, as you can see, I mean, imagine you're, in that place where you have no energy, you don't even want to get out of bed kind of vibe, you're not going to go dancing. Like that feels like such a mismatch. In this hypo arousal zone, when you're feeling dead and shut down and passive, what if you sat on your couch, held yourself in a fetal position and rocked? Okay, maybe back and forth or side to side. Okay, the small movements can help get your nervous system back online. This could be the time where you do the deep breathing exercises. It could be a time where you practice gratitude, trying to bring yourself back, trying to get yourself connected again. It could be very soft. light music because you're not wanting to overwhelm your nervous system.
[00:15:00] You're wanting to match it to help you regulate and get back online. All right. Another thing that is really nice whenever you are in shutdown mode is almost giving yourself a hug. So imagine you are crossing your hands across your body and you just tap. Okay. Again, we've got the bilateral movement and that can help you get back to that window of tolerance. Now, depending upon how you're feeling, doing simple things like taking a shower can help get you back online because the water and the noise and just the mindfulness that you can bring to taking a shower can help get you back to that window of tolerance.
And honestly, to me, it seems like If you're in that hyperarousal state, you could take a cold shower to bring yourself down. If you're in the hypo where you're just numb, possibly a warm slash hot shower could get you back online and get your nervous system back in the window of tolerance.
[00:16:00] When it comes to deep breathing, you want to imagine that you're filling up a balloon in your belly. You're not doing a chest breath because we really want the air to get into our diaphragm. And so I encourage you for a moment to put your hands on your stomach and like, push your belly out and then relax. And if you ever watch a baby breathe, they do belly breathing. So that's how you're gonna do your deep belly breath. I want you to imagine your favorite color balloon in your belly. And whenever you breathe in, you're breathing out. filling up that balloon. So you breathe in and then blow out to exhale. Okay. And on your exhale, you could even do a whoosh kind of sound like, and create some vibration.
When you do the deep breathing and you're inflating your stomach, you're putting pressure on the vagus nerve and The nervous system is communicating to the brain about the signals and it's saying, okay, we're chill. We're good. It's time to calm down. So the mind-body connection is very fascinating.
[00:17:00] Now to add another layer to this, another layer that you can control is the stories that you are telling yourself. If you're a working mom, let's say, and you've got these stories that you're telling yourself, I'm not good enough. I can't meet these deadlines. I'm a terrible parent. I should be staying home. No, I should be going to work. Like you've got all these stories and self talk going on. That's probably bringing you to all of these zones and this rollercoaster of emotions throughout a single day, if not just in the hour that you're getting ready in the morning. So when you're learning about your nervous system and you're learning about your self-talk and the stories that you're telling yourself, you're better able to take a step back. And assess, where is the evidence for this? Where is the evidence that I'm a bad mom, or that I'm not a good employee, or I'm not a good worker, or I'm not successful? More likely than not, that evidence does not exist.
[00:18:00] And so, your brain and your body are reacting to the stories that your brain is playing into. If you're ready to start taking control of how you feel and the stories you tell yourself, and you're ready to take control of your OCD and step out of these obsessive thoughts and the cycles and those images that get stuck, go to my website at ValueDrivenTherapy. com.
[00:19:00] I've got my intensive outpatient therapy program where we will meet three times a week to help you get unstuck. And it's only for three weeks that we do that. I've got another opening happening in November. I encourage you to sign up, get on the waitlist because I'm only working with one lady at a time. And by taking control now, imagine how you're going to feel by Thanksgiving and especially by Christmas. Imagine hope and the joy and the feelings of safety that you desire. Imagine those happening for you. Okay, thank you for listening to this episode about the science behind fear. Come back next week where we're going to be chatting about how to manage Halloween when you have mental health struggles.
[00:20:00] I'm glad that you were here and you listened to today's episode, and I look forward to having you back here next week.
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